I have a problem, I have been tricked into thinking that ‘ I have to earn my place ‘ ; actually I think we all have been. Earning my place means to me that i can not simply exist or without any important action my life is worthless. And as long as I can achieve and keep planting new target spots in my field I can be called worthy and my presence is cherishable. It is not just me, but every single life is like after this…after this…after this. Since, childhood we have been given this huge responsibility of running, as if we all were predestined to be Athletes.
Every night I like to take out some time and sit still, star gazing, if possible surrounded by trees trying to feel that sweet flowing breeze. This is my best moment and I do not like to think when I’m doing this, if anything comes into my mind it comes naturally.
And, then there are days I am among the crowd, hundreds of people passing by, I stand in the midst of it all entirely clueless while the thoughts of being incompetent, not being worthy rushes like a cyclone, putting unbearable pressure on my nevers and bones causing an unexplainable pain. My breathing turns slow and heavy and all I have is a blank stare.
ALL I KEEP THINKING THESE DAYS IS WHY CAN’T SIMPLY EXISTING BE ENOUGH? WHY CAN’T A PERSONS SUCCESS BE MEASURED ON THE BASIS OF HOW MUCH HE HAS ENDURED OR GROWN AS PERSON. CAN A PERSON LIFE A MEDIOCRE LIFE AND BE REALLY HAPPY? WHO KNOWS!