You must have seen my ‘everything is okay’ face. I say *fuck it* and then I light a cigarette, smoke up, and then go back to thinking about what I was supposed to *fuck it*.
Am I an opportunist ? Am I demanding ? Am I toxic ? Maybe or maybe not. I can’t tell anymore. My head is now full of so many unrelated voices that I can hardly recognise which one’s mine. COMPLETE LOSS OF MY DECIPHERING ABILITY.
Let’s have a sneak peek inside my head(bad side) today. I will try to tell you about the most common voices that echo inside a mental health patient.
some days we have limited space for others. These echos are loud…Very loud, they scream. *You are ugly* *you are not worthy* *they left you again, no one needs you* *everyone’s better than you* *anyone can be happy but not you* *nothing brings pleasure any longer* *everytime I feel good I think it’ll last forever but it doesn’t. So now I am afraid of being happy* etc. These are just a few initial ones. It can be far worse.
Life is really tough when you are lazy but still a perfectionist and doesn’t give a shit about anything but also cares about everything. Yeah…! Die a little everyday..!
Well, what I mean is, saying that your mental state is actually a ‘state’ a place from where you are not willing to move forward. Well it’s not entirely true. It is a state of mind but clearly an illness. It needs help don’t just hear your friends talk about how tough their life is and then toss it aside and go back to drinking beer and sprouting nonsense. We all need friends, genuine friends.