I smoke up my thoughts

You must have seen my ‘everything is okay’ face. I say *fuck it* and then I light a cigarette, smoke up, and then go back to thinking about what I was supposed to *fuck it*.

Am I an opportunist ? Am I demanding ? Am I toxic ? Maybe or maybe not. I can’t tell anymore. My head is now full of so many unrelated voices that I can hardly recognise which one’s mine. COMPLETE LOSS OF MY DECIPHERING ABILITY.

Let’s have a sneak peek inside my head(bad side) today. I will try to tell you about the most common voices that echo inside a mental health patient.

some days we have limited space for others. These echos are loud…Very loud, they scream. *You are ugly* *you are not worthy* *they left you again, no one needs you* *everyone’s better than you* *anyone can be happy but not you* *nothing brings pleasure any longer* *everytime I feel good I think it’ll last forever but it doesn’t. So now I am afraid of being happy* etc. These are just a few initial ones. It can be far worse.

Life is really tough when you are lazy but still a perfectionist and doesn’t give a shit about anything but also cares about everything. Yeah…! Die a little everyday..!

Well, what I mean is, saying that your mental state is actually a ‘state’ a place from where you are not willing to move forward. Well it’s not entirely true. It is a state of mind but clearly an illness. It needs help don’t just hear your friends talk about how tough their life is and then toss it aside and go back to drinking beer and sprouting nonsense. We all need friends, genuine friends.

Published by says kinmokusei

“When you stop doing things for fun, you might as well be dead." (As simple as this)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: